In this blog series, you will see a
lot of statistics. Some will convey the gravity of injuries. Some will convey the
urgency of taking action in our homes and in our communities to address GBV. This type of violence reflects distorted notions
of masculinity —a masculinity that obliterates
childhood, turns homes into battlefields and friendships into covert operations.
Gender-based violence affects
everyone. Here are some of our stories.
Daisy
Her small plait got caught in the
bed springs. The pain she felt as her hair was ripped from their roots was a
perplexing as the weight of the body atop her small frame. She disengaged her
mind from her body. Too shocked to scream. Already aware that calling attention to her
predicament was to risk being called ‘wutless’ ‘dangles’ and labelled a liar
for life. Her 11 year old mind had
already understood the pecking order: male over female, adult over child.
Easter girl by Karen Wilson. 2013. |
Dulcemania
There was no pretence of love or
being wanted. She was abandoned behind the veil of respectability, taken from
the mother who could not provide for her materially and inserted into the
marital home of the father who would not provide for her emotionally. She was a
constant reminder of her father’s assertion of manhood —unbridled
control over her mother, his wife and the maids who waxed the cool cement tiles.
Howie
He could have been called “Thin Slice”
–a tall, sliver of mocha that you wanted to enjoy. He was a Lionel Ritchie Casanova, the type
that Caribbean girls could not resist. Howie was sweet sexiness in the
homophobic hurricane of the Caribbean. He
came of age in a fraternity of friends who teased about not wanting to be too
close lest they be mistaken for “batty man” or “anti-man.” He got married in an unforgettable
wedding. When his wife left home abruptly and wanted an annulment, we were all confused.
Within the year, those of us who shared his room, his smile and his quiet
terror of being “outed,” said goodbye to what remained of Thin Slice.
Business Man Black Silhouette by Karen Arnold |
These 16 Days of Activism against
Gender Violence are about rewriting these stories to create safety for all the
Daisies, Dulcemenias and Howies in our homes and communities. Join us and share
your thought about what we can do to end gender-based violence.
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